Summary: thequeenofgleeks so nicely asked me to fill Blangst Prompt of the Day #756 “Blaine has been getting taunted at NYADA for a while, but hasn’t told anyone about it, not even Kurt. One day, Blaine snaps and comes home to the empty loft and has a complete breakdown (crying, screaming, throwing things, etc.) Kurt comes home in the middle of it.”
Blaine’s had enough panic attacks to recognize the signs when he’s about to have one. His palms get sweaty and his heart beats unsteadily in his chest. His whole body hums, like it’s gearing up for what’s ahead and thrumming with nervous energy.
He’s been in this pre-panic attack state for weeks, now. He’s constantly on the brink of a breakdown, always put there by the relentless taunting from his classmates. It doesn’t even matter what they’re saying at this point. He’s fat, he’s stupid, he’s talentless. It’s a step up from being called a fag all the time, at least, but it’s not much better. He usually tunes them out the second someone opens their mouth at him in the hallways, because he knows it’ll just be an insult.
This makes it hard for him to make friends, but Blaine thinks that maybe he doesn’t want friends outside of the ones he has now. From what he’s heard from Kurt and Rachel, all the students at NYADA are two-faced and would stab you in the back in a heartbeat if it meant getting themselves ahead. He likes the security of knowing that his friends from high school, as odd as it may seem, are the most loyal people he’s ever met.
And it’s really not their fault that they haven’t noticed Blaine’s distress. He hides it well; he always has. When someone asks him what’s wrong, he looks down and swallows hard, and by the time he looks back up he’s slipped into a character and offers a smile and says, “Nothing.” It works, for the most part. As loyal as his friends are, they also tend to be quite self-absorbed.
There comes a point, though, where Blaine can no longer hide it. It just builds and builds inside of him and then there’s nothing to do but explode.
Today is explosion day. He can feel it.